Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Virginity and Dating



With all the failed relationships and marriages that have happened in the last 40 years we can all start to see a pattern that develops. It seems like sex does not have the precious meaning a relationship that it once had. Men and women both have become so accustomed to having sex within months into their relationships that sex has turned into an act almost entirely of lust. Saving your virginity for men and women has become an almost extinct cause as the dinosaurs. Now teenage men and women both have different reasons for entering into premarital sexual relationships. Men for example have been conditioned to think that being manly or being a stud means how many women you have slept with and how many women can talk into getting into bed with you. Women on the other hand usually think that sex is a gift that they withhold from a man until he has proven that he truly cares for her. Notice how there is a disconnect each week our men have about sex and how women feel about sex. I think that both genders are looking at it in the wrong ways. I think personally that is both men and women decide to save themselves for their wedding night their chances of finding love become greater. Why do you ask? I feel that marriage is not just about love but it’s about the balance of love that both men and women feel for each other. If men for example start dating women with no hidden intentions of having casual sex with them that he can truly get to know her as a person and start to develop deep feelings for her. This way, then we’ll start to look at sex as lovemaking instead of just an act of instinctive pleasure. Women on the other hand, seem to look at sex as a trophy or reward that they decide what man they bestow that reward to. The way that women can start to fix this preconceived notion that they have been conditioned to think is to start looking at sex as a special act that is given freely to the one that you truly love and will be with forever. Whenever I am interested in a woman, I would never ask her out on a date as I feel that dating is only a way that both men and women show themselves off to each other in the most favorable and the most unrealistic light. This then gets both men and women the unrealistic expectation that a relationship and the marriage will be this way every day for the rest of their lives. Sorry to break the news to them harshly but true, loving and caring relationships take hard work and commitment and they are more than just fun and games. Instead of asking her out on a date, I would ask her if she would like to hang out get to know each other as friends. Hanging out as friends takes away all the unrealistic expectations that dating brings with it and allows both men and women to get to know each other deeply and truthfully.
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